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by EK Wills Do you doubt yourself even when you have achieved goals you set for yourself? Or feel unloved even when surrounded by family and friends? Maybe you think there is something wrong with you because everyone else seems to have to it all together more than you do? These thoughts can form core beliefs that we operate with on a daily basis. In the psychological world, they are called schemas and can be seen as cognitive distortions that effect the way we function and c

By EK Wills © artwork by Coco for Goretober Ever gone on a diet? Or looked at your reflection and wanted to change something? Well, who hasn’t, right? Lately, I’ve been seeing people at work who come in to the Eating Disorders Clinic or present to the Emergency Department who have taken those thoughts to a whole added level of serious. These people have become obsessed with weight, in a clinical sense of the word. It could be that they are depressed and feeling that they have

By EK Wills Driving home with my son yesterday, we were listening to the radio and I was struck by how specifically directed it was to my generation. We started talking about how there used to be popular songs, bands and types of music mainly dictated by what we were exposed to as kids. We wondered then what he would listen to as an adult because he also plays in a band. This led to thinking how different it is now because everyone has access to so many forms of media at thei

By EK Wills Being a talker, my ears always prick up when I learn of ways we connect that help us in life. I read that a… ‘study of people living in Alameda County, California, for example, showed that people who had close friendships and marriages lived longer than those who didn’t. This was true independent of such factors as diet, smoking, and exercise.’ (The Relationship Cure) And this week I learned, that for many years, a hospital in Finland has almost radically treated

by EK Wills This week was one to test anyone’s patience. And so I was glad to learn about a specific type of therapy that includes skills training on aspects such as distress tolerance and emotion regulation. These are part of a type of therapy called dialectical behavioural therapy or DBT. It was initially developed by Marsha Linehan for people suffering what is labeled borderline personality disorder and, interestingly, she was a sufferer herself. But DBT has now been advoc

By EK Wills “I can only find myself in and between me and my fellows in a human conversation” Robert Hobson This week I discovered The Long Conversation. That is to say, I learned about it(1) and it seemed to fit like a glove. I have always been a talker and the idea that conversation can be so useful and necessary resonated well with me. We as humans live in a world of language and symbols as much as we do in a world of immediate physical surroundings. As such, all human int

By E K Wills Why do we get up every day, go to work/school, suffer the setbacks and strive for goals? Usually it’s because we want to, we are driven to do this and we are motivated by a biological sense of need. But what happens when the chemicals in the brain don’t function this way? And medication doesn't seem to help? What if you can be surrounded by positivity, opportunity and even success but not feel it? This is what happened in the maternal side of my family last week.

By E K Wills Holiday time is when you let your guard down and let the kids have some fun. This is particularly true in Australia where they have a long break and the year comes to a close. But sometimes this can backfire when it comes time to going back to school. It means they have to stick to a routine again and may even need to do homework depending on what age and school they go to. In our household, they will need to help out to keep the family unit running smoothly, as

by EK Wills We all go through periods in our lives when we doubt ourselves or what we are doing, especially when presented with challenging circumstances like financial stress, relationship breakdowns or health issues. Rather than just going through the motions of day-to-day activities, it can be helpful to check in with yourself to see what you are feeling and trying to achieve. Just like an actor rehearsing for a character role, we need to know what motivates us. This can

by EK Wills I’ve never been good at taking compliments but like to give them freely. Even when I consciously say to myself that I will try and accept them, someone will give me a sneaky compliment and I mumble some excuse to negate it. Like last weekend when a colleague asked me my secret to a youthful appearance, I muttered something about my Chinese heritage and quickly changed the subject. But I have one friend who is very good at accepting compliments and I realised that

By E K Wills Sitting in the airport to fly back from a short job interstate, I was wondering what I would write about when my eye was caught by a face I recognized. Rob Carlton, an actor, had been in town doing the TV show ‘Wanted’ at the SA Film Corporation. It has taken up residence in the majestic old psychiatric asylum at the site next to where I was working in the current mental health facility. SA Film Corporation and old mental health asylum Rob and I had worked togeth

by EK Wills When your heart skips a beat for a prospective partner, all you care about is your feelings for each other. You probably think a little further to what it would be like to have a baby together and even what sort of parent they would make. But do you both share common goals for the future? Are you both prepared to make sacrifices to achieve those goals? And what are those goals? How many children do you want to have? Do you want to raise your family in the city?

By EK Wills I recently heard that perfectionism in a child can be related to having an authoritarian and critical parent. And since there are traces of perfectionism in our family, it prompted me explore it. In looking at parenting styles, there is a mountain of research on theories, stages, approaches and interpretations. One common approach, sometimes called the Baumrind or Maccoby and Martin parenting styles (because they all contributed to the model), is based on two pa

By EK Wills This week was the first week of the school holidays and I also had a week of leave. This is the usual modus operandi for holidays as I get time off, the kids have me instead of childcare and we all get to spend time together. In addition, I usually plan all the catch up appointments for that time like trips to the dentist. This time the dynamic was different because I was recuperating from a procedure and my tolerance, patience and stamina were low. Plus, the kids

By EK Wills I’ve always had heavy periods but they seemed to get even more troublesome over the years and I ended up iron deficient and anaemic. That isn’t so unusual as many women of child-bearing age are at risk for iron deficiency anaemia due to what is termed menorrhagia or heavy bleeding from periods. But there are several causes of this, which tend to show up in different age groups. I happened to score the fibroids category. The positive side of this diagnosis is that

by EK Wills This week I managed to get a viral infection. It’s a seemingly small thing but enough to throw a spanner in the otherwise well-oiled machine of daily life. When juggling full time work, study and family and all their requirements, a small thing that upsets the balance means life get chaotic and you can start to question what you’re doing and how you’re doing it. All the things that you usually deal with in your stride become hard. Little annoyances become hurdles

by EK Wills Have you ever really asked yourself what you live for? Or why are you living the way you do, right now? And, even more importantly, are you content with what you find out? Some of us do this on a daily basis: some people even call it navel gazing. While others don't take the opportunity and happily or not seem to drift through life. Last year I stepped out of my usual routine and took on a temporary position in another state. My goal was to help finance a trip for

By EK Wills Ever have that feeling there is something you want to do but don't feel equipped to do it? Or you don't have the confidence in yourself to do it? Have you ever tried to Fake It Till You Make It? There are so many areas in our lives that this concept can be applied to. One that resonates for me was when I first started medical school as a mature aged student. I remember walking in to the university building for the Graduate School of Medicine and my heart was skipp

by EK Wills This week I metaphorically fell on my face when I was trying to do too much and tripped on my own eagerness. I was going to write about a fabulous birthday party idea but got sidetracked because I think I was trying to be the super mum: - organize a cost effective, creative, fun birthday party - plus juggle an extra job to earn more money because we live in an unsustainable city, - while at the same time, trying to tend to my health. And that is only scratching

by EK Wills How old are you? This question is about as invasive as who you voted for or how much you paid for your house. But everyone appears to need to know this because it helps to put people in neat little niches to categorise them: middle aged female with teenage daughters versus young mother versus professional spinster or old hag. None of it should matter but it does. When you’re young, you want to be more mature. When you’re getting to the magical 30 years old, it is