Blog

By EK Wills This week we had our first family meeting in a long time. When the idea was floated, our middle child piped up and claimed that “it didn’t work before”, to which I suggested that it was worth trying again since failure does not mean defeat. I got a look and a shrug. So this time we started with a look at Clean Communication. It is usually used for couples to teach them how to talk to each other without blaming, accusing and to be able to figure out what each perso

By EK Wills There is so much pressure on kids to get good results in the final high school grades that it’s little wonder teachers and parents are finding themselves at odds with each other. Parents know the minefield it is after high school to try to secure a place in tertiary education institutions and teachers are reported to be in the firing line when parents defend their offspring. It has reached such proportions that articles are being written about lawsuits between par

by EK Wills The Simpsons© unhappy family “…. every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” – Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina All groups work in different ways and everyone has their own perspective within that group whether it is a family or at work. But when things get difficult it can often be traced back to the dynamics in the way the people relate to each other. I joined a team recently where I experienced issues in group dynamics and become one of the contributors myself.

By EK Wills out with pram and muslin wrap Has anyone ever come up to you in the street or the supermarket and told you what you should be doing with your baby? This seems to be a regular occurrence. Many new mums report that unsolicited advice is offered by strangers telling them all sorts of ways to be a better carer. I remember struggling with the shopping and standing in a queue with the pram and being told by a random shopper that I would suffocate my child because I had

by EK Wills This week was one to test anyone’s patience. And so I was glad to learn about a specific type of therapy that includes skills training on aspects such as distress tolerance and emotion regulation. These are part of a type of therapy called dialectical behavioural therapy or DBT. It was initially developed by Marsha Linehan for people suffering what is labeled borderline personality disorder and, interestingly, she was a sufferer herself. But DBT has now been advoc

By EK Wills I recently heard that perfectionism in a child can be related to having an authoritarian and critical parent. And since there are traces of perfectionism in our family, it prompted me explore it. In looking at parenting styles, there is a mountain of research on theories, stages, approaches and interpretations. One common approach, sometimes called the Baumrind or Maccoby and Martin parenting styles (because they all contributed to the model), is based on two pa

By EK Wills I recently discovered that a good friend of mine is suffering circumstances that you only expect to hear about in the news or in families in less fortunate situations. But she and her husband have respectable jobs, own their own home and have 3 children at good schools. She has not experienced physical pain but endures psychological abuse indiscriminately and is fearful in her own home. It began insidiously with her husband working long hours in a stressful job so