RAGE

By The MotherMind Doctor

I have often been accused of being angry or prickly.

I think I always assumed that because I like order, and for systems to function, that everyone else did to. I was constantly surprised by the relaxed or laid back attitude of others.

Now, it seems, no one has this ability to relax.

On a recent Safari trip overseas, I had periods where there was no reception and was blissfully allowed to stay in the present moment, and focus on what was happening around me in nature. I could marvel at animals in their natural habitat, surrounded by green and blue space which is naturally calming.

My eSim had other ideas.

When our game drive returned to base at our off-grid camp in the wilderness of Zimbabwe, I received pings that demanded my attention. I was getting phone calls via What’s App because no-one can wait anymore in this age of immediacy.

I was then thrown into a flurry of activity that saw me calling The United States and Australia to tend the issue at hand. My previous state of relaxation was now replaced with urgency, negating all the relaxation of the morning earlier.

Each time something like this occurs, I try to reinstate my boundaries - and have notifications turned off to encourage this. But technology can be insistent. And FOMO helps to keep us engaged.

-The What’s App groups that keep us up-to-date with the latest developments in our peer groups.

-The latest Instagram trend or meme gone viral that we need to know about to keep in the loop with our kids’ vernacular.

-Sending updates to family and friends, via your social media platform of choice, because we can and it is expected.

But where is the end point?

-Is it when you return home only to find a build up of emails you have ignored in the name of trying to maintain some separation from work while on vacation?

-Is it when you have a line of catch up bills to pay or services to tend to because you were away for a fortnight?

-Or when the appointment you so carefully arranged to happen, gets cancelled?

So today, I decided I’m doing a ‘NO ACTION DAY’ strike as retaliation. I am leaning into the space now created and not getting up. I am writing this with my laptop in bed.

The latest trend is to vent all this frustration at RAGE ROOMS.

The idea is that, when life gets too much, you can discard your social conditioning and smash some objects in a safe space wearing protective gear. Sounds like fun, right?

Interestingly, research indicates that venting rage in this way can actually reinforce the behaviour when frustration builds. This means that maybe when you get upset, perhaps you don’t need the constraints of a safe space and protective gear to blow off steam.

While it sounds much less appealing, the more constructive way to deal with anger is to use techniques such as writing or breathing as initial tools. Then look at problem solving strategies to resolve the issues.

In fact, writing can serve both functions. Firstly, all the anger is put on the page, and secondly, the process can assist you to come to some practical solutions to the frustrating situation.

And, if I’m being honest, this is exactly why I write blogs. I feel much better, now.