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By The MotherMind Doctor My whole life I’ve been told I’m too sensitive and too angry . I preferred to think that I’m overly curious and have difficulty, being able to relax. This is what led me to explore our family history. In The lead up to Father’s Day I recalled my mother‘s suggestion of asking my father to fill the gaps in our family history. This lead me to look up the information that had been collected by my uncle and documented meticulously. What jumped out of the

By E K Wills Unusual times call for a new approach to schooling. During the lockdown, we are not officially obliged to keep our kids at home if we are essential workers, but many are deciding to keep kids out of school where they can. (Please, teachers, be kind to those parents who do not have an option to do so if kids are too young to stay home alone: just as others need to consider you are also at the forefront of this crisis.) If your children are old enough to stay h

By Dr EK Wills So it seems the health department have evolving recommendations and everyone has different advice to help flatten the curve and make it manageable for the health service. But what does this mean for everyone every day? No one has come out with a simple list of what we need to do to stay safe and generally do our bit for the community. Based on what I have seen so far and what appears to be working across the board, I have generated a simple checklist to make i

By EK Wills When my niece asked for tips on how to get her child to sleep, I couldn’t believe I hadn’t already done a blog post on this! So thanks for the heads up and here goes… Sleep with respect to children is always an issue. As long as medical issues are ruled out, then practical points are required to get good sleep. Babies First it starts when they are born and then it steadily progresses through different stages. No sooner do you master the one you’re in then it becom

by EK Wills This holiday period has been a mixture of good times and learning experiences. Our friends visited from overseas after not having seen them for many years and all of our kids got along famously plus Sydney did not disappoint with scorching temperatures set to sizzle a tourist and Aussie alike. But both of these occurrences provided opportunity to learn about the often taboo topic of mortality. Firstly, our visitors openly discussed the recent treatment for breast

By EK Wills This week we had our first family meeting in a long time. When the idea was floated, our middle child piped up and claimed that “it didn’t work before”, to which I suggested that it was worth trying again since failure does not mean defeat. I got a look and a shrug. So this time we started with a look at Clean Communication. It is usually used for couples to teach them how to talk to each other without blaming, accusing and to be able to figure out what each perso

By EK Wills Many families are feeling the pinch at this time of year. Christmas has eaten a hole in the budget and the family holiday only made it bigger. Or there have been so many April birthdays and gifts bought for them that you are left wondering what to do when Mother’s Day rolls around. In our family, I have just celebrated my birthday (in April) and then Mother’s Day follows hot on it’s heels weeks later and I really don't need more gifts. The other aspect to consider

By EK Wills I don't practice a particular religion but I have a strong sense of family, which I tend to feed especially in holiday periods: Easter is no exception. As our nuclear family grows, we’ve developed a few ways to join with our various extended families, including other communities such as friends, schools and colleagues. Below is a list of child friendly activities we enjoy at Easter time. Perhaps you have done one or some of these or can add them to your activities

By EK Wills Rarely do I plan anything for me but I like to put on events and usually do it for my kids. I do big birthday parties with elaborate themes and cakes as well as activities and it is all home-made. Interestingly, this is the picture for many women who feel they need to support the family and make everyone’s lives cohesive and harmonious. my daughter's cake for my birthday 2018 with Nana I’m planning a big birthday at the moment but this time for me. I decided if I

By EK Wills out with pram and muslin wrap Has anyone ever come up to you in the street or the supermarket and told you what you should be doing with your baby? This seems to be a regular occurrence. Many new mums report that unsolicited advice is offered by strangers telling them all sorts of ways to be a better carer. I remember struggling with the shopping and standing in a queue with the pram and being told by a random shopper that I would suffocate my child because I had

By EK Wills on the way to ED on call There are many systemic issues in our current public health system but from my perspective within that structure, the heart of it is seems to be related to an ‘old boys club’ that perpetuates the notion of ‘if we did it, then you have to do it too’. Recently, the media has been reporting incidents relating to workplace issues for doctors and more specifically for surgeons. This came to light again with the latest junior doctor revelation a

By EK Wills the one year all three were at the same school As this year takes off, there are changes in kids’ lives, and our own, that require us to re-adjust. It could be a child starting school, moving into high school, or even senior years of high school. All these phases present new challenges for the whole family, not just the child moving on to the next stage of development. And when there are siblings, there are different stages which present cohesion challenges for ev

By EK Wills What better way to spend time with friends and family than to get together for an activity? It could be to socialize over drinks, bake with the kids or make Christmas decorations. This time of year is the opportunity to reconnect with community and we’ve been squeezing as much of it in as we can. Christmas Cookies Baking is a great way to get kids off screens and teach them kitchen skills. Plus you get to spend time together with the objective of creating somethin

By EK Wills canoes in Sydney harbour Last weekend we attended our son’s scout Christmas party at the beach. Unusual you might say, but this was the sea scouts and it is water based. We recently moved close to the water but hadn’t had the opportunity to engage in water activities till that day: life has a way of distracting you with work, setting up house and preparing for Christmas. This was the first chance we had to force ourselves to stop and enjoy what we had moved there

By EK Wills Is Santa coming to your house? What if you don’t have a chimney? As we move into December, the Christmas list for each child is growing. Lego is a favourite for our ten year old and the teenaged girls are looking at earrings and clothing: all things they have to choose themselves or they won’t like them. Then we came up with a brainwave. Although it’s been four months since we moved, we’re still working out what we need and where it should go. The big-ticket items

By EK Wills There was a death in the family this week: my 10 year old son’s hermit crab. It lasted only a few months so, to us, this is not a big deal. But, to him, it was his first ‘very own’ pet to look after. It was not our first pet death (remember our chickens from last summer?) but it was his big event. He wondered whether he had done something wrong. Had he not fed it enough? Or kept the tank wet or warm enough? There were two of them and only one died. Why was it the

by EK Wills I recently had a patient lament that the system makes it so difficult to access services to mental health. That comment rings true for many people because there are so many options and so it can be difficult to navigate them. There is also a misconception that there is one place that fits all because it is ‘mental health’ and that is one ailment. In fact there are many types of mental health issues such as depression, domestic violence, trauma, psychosis: the list

by EK Wills Do you doubt yourself even when you have achieved goals you set for yourself? Or feel unloved even when surrounded by family and friends? Maybe you think there is something wrong with you because everyone else seems to have to it all together more than you do? These thoughts can form core beliefs that we operate with on a daily basis. In the psychological world, they are called schemas and can be seen as cognitive distortions that effect the way we function and c

By EK Wills Being a talker, my ears always prick up when I learn of ways we connect that help us in life. I read that a… ‘study of people living in Alameda County, California, for example, showed that people who had close friendships and marriages lived longer than those who didn’t. This was true independent of such factors as diet, smoking, and exercise.’ (The Relationship Cure) And this week I learned, that for many years, a hospital in Finland has almost radically treated

By E K Wills Why do we get up every day, go to work/school, suffer the setbacks and strive for goals? Usually it’s because we want to, we are driven to do this and we are motivated by a biological sense of need. But what happens when the chemicals in the brain don’t function this way? And medication doesn't seem to help? What if you can be surrounded by positivity, opportunity and even success but not feel it? This is what happened in the maternal side of my family last week.