Seven Points of Planning the Birth

By E K Wills

There is no manual that comes with the decision to have a family. Each step is taken and based on advice from friends, family or self-help books. This can be overwhelming and actually feel too overwhelming to tackle….

…This simple step guide to parenting can help set your family up for the best possible foundation without overly complicating your role. It does not preclude other influences involved in the developing of mental ill health such as genetic or uncontrollable environmental influences. We are not robots and we cannot predict the future so we need to approach this to the best of our abilities.

The stages I will address are:

1. Pregnancy

2. Birth

3. Babies

4. Toddlers

5. Preschool

6. Primary

7. Teen

And a supplementary section for adult children.

This second instalment this week is an attempt to capture the essence of parenting in a practical guide for the second stage of the parenting journey: the birth.

Seven Points of Planning the Birth

1. Do you have a birth plan?

We all have an idea of how we want the birth to progress or, if not, we at least want nothing to go wrong. But we all also know that life happens.

It is a good idea to put down in a written plan what you are hoping for and to plan contingencies accordingly. This also helps others such as your support person/people know what you would like, particularly when you are busy birthing and maybe not focused on events around you. This can also be shared with your birthing health practitioner.

If you want help to create a birth plan, try here

There are apps and blogs for birth plans. If you are a visual person or speak a different language to your health practitioner, a visual plan may help.

2. Who will be your supports at the birth?

Many people have partners to share the experience, others don’t. Either way, support people can be helpful to organise things around you. For example, to keep hydrated or to get sustenance if the birthing phase is longer than expected.

Do you want your mother or mother-in-law to be there? Do you want your best friend or the one who just had a baby and perhaps has the experience to help guide you?

It is important to discuss these things beforehand. Perhaps you and your partner have different ideas: one may want a festive event while the other may prefer an intimate approach which will impact how many people are present.

You may need to check with your birth health practitioner on limits to visitors, depending on where this will occur.

3. What sort of birth do you want?

Are you thinking about a labour ward versus a birthing room in a hospital? By visiting the labour ward or birthing suite, you may have a clearer idea of which would be your preferred option. However, your physical health may impact this decision as high-risk pregnancies are required to birth in a labour ward where specialist equipment is on hand.

Are you hoping for a water birth? If so, is it in a birthing suite or at home? Some birthing suites have baths for water births and here is some information available around this.

If you want to stay at home, there are legal considerations as well as thinking who will be your treating practitioner.

Doulas are trained companions to support you in the birth process but do not replace trained medical or health care advisors. For more information on doulas, look here

4. What do you want to have available to you or to take with you?

Consider items you would like such as massage oil or scents that can add a calming effect.

Would you like music to play that is calming or centring for focus? You may want a change of clothes for afterwards or on the ward as well as nightwear.

If you are thinking about hot water bottles or heat packs, this will need to be discussed with your healthcare provider as there are regulations around use in hospitals.

Takes energy snacks or ice blocks to suck on and plan when to purchase and pack these perishable things.

Having a bag pre-packed means that you are prepared for that early labour, should it happen to you.

You can find ready-made checklists for hospital bags on hospital sites or pretty ones on social media and blogs. Here’s one

5. How will you get there?

If you are going to a hospital, how will you travel there? If your partner will drive, what will happen if they are at work and you need to go? What about if it is in the middle of the night and you need your pet or older child looked after? Is your support person happy to be woken in the night to attend? Do you have another one to go to your house? Or to cover if the other one is unwell?

This all comes back to planning and can be considered at each step and contingencies built in. This first stage of labour page gives some information around when to go to hospital depending on your labour progression .

6. During and after birth

Labour itself is described in 3 stages and the birth has 3 stages. Each has it’s own progression and can be reviewed to consider how you would like to approach each in your birthplan. Follow the links from the first stage (above) to read about each.

There are also ways to support you in each stage such as breathing exercises (many may have heard of Lemaze birthing in movies or on TV ) or hypnobirthing techniques to manage labour and delivery. Here is an article that compares options.

When it is all over, consider whether your partner will stay in hospital with you (likely at an extra fee) or how long you may wish to stay. Many hospitals have policies such as 3 nights but if you go home earlier then a midwife could visit you at home. Research this as an option to see if it is available.

7. Will you want to breastfeed or bottle feed your baby?

You may think this comes later, but you need to consider this now. There is much pressure on mothers to breastfeed and often people feel they are doing their baby damage if they don’t. Importantly, what you decide is best for you is also best for baby. Breastfeeding has many benefits but also drawbacks such as being more difficult to share the load of feeding (unless you express the milk which means having increased supply to do this). For a complete list of pros and cons, see here.

When baby is first born, it can take a few days for the milk to ‘come in’ and baby will have colostrum for a few days. This is normal but can be stressful. Read more about it here.

These seven points cover the basics to birthing. Of course there are libraries on it but hopefully this gives you a manageable guide. You can read a blog article on the subject, here.

Stay tuned for the next instalment on Babies.

If you have personal tips you would like to add, comment below, on the MotherMind FB page or on the blog site.