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By EK Wills Everyone touts the importance and need to focus on our mental health, yet precious little seems to be done about it. From diet and meditation to Employee Assist Programs, these patchwork approaches all target aspects of our mental health that are like Band-Aid strips on wounds already created. What if we actually took an holistic approach and looked at prevention? This week there was a landmark decision in WA around domestic violence. The government there has reco

By EK Wills There is a lot of talk around the topic of stress and being overwhelmed. But when we start labeling the result with terms like burnout we are saying that the limit is reached. Then there are those that try to attribute the feeling to the fault of the person by saying that they are not resilient enough or not creating a work life balance that leads to the breaking point. In a time where productivity is heralded as the most important result, the idea of taking time

By EK Wills 4 Dads In perfect timing for Father’s Day, an article in the SMH inspired me to expand on the theory that father’s have their own language. If you haven’t heard already, Men Are From Mars and Women Are From Venus. What this refers to is John Gray’s premise that the fundamental issues in relationships stem from psychological differences between the sexes. Even decades after this book was first a best seller, it is still valid. If you take this a step further, it st

By EK Wills When my niece asked for tips on how to get her child to sleep, I couldn’t believe I hadn’t already done a blog post on this! So thanks for the heads up and here goes… Sleep with respect to children is always an issue. As long as medical issues are ruled out, then practical points are required to get good sleep. Babies First it starts when they are born and then it steadily progresses through different stages. No sooner do you master the one you’re in then it becom

by EK Wills This holiday period has been a mixture of good times and learning experiences. Our friends visited from overseas after not having seen them for many years and all of our kids got along famously plus Sydney did not disappoint with scorching temperatures set to sizzle a tourist and Aussie alike. But both of these occurrences provided opportunity to learn about the often taboo topic of mortality. Firstly, our visitors openly discussed the recent treatment for breast

By EK Wills This week we had our first family meeting in a long time. When the idea was floated, our middle child piped up and claimed that “it didn’t work before”, to which I suggested that it was worth trying again since failure does not mean defeat. I got a look and a shrug. So this time we started with a look at Clean Communication. It is usually used for couples to teach them how to talk to each other without blaming, accusing and to be able to figure out what each perso

By EK Wills There is so much pressure on kids to get good results in the final high school grades that it’s little wonder teachers and parents are finding themselves at odds with each other. Parents know the minefield it is after high school to try to secure a place in tertiary education institutions and teachers are reported to be in the firing line when parents defend their offspring. It has reached such proportions that articles are being written about lawsuits between par

by EK Wills The Simpsons© unhappy family “…. every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” – Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina All groups work in different ways and everyone has their own perspective within that group whether it is a family or at work. But when things get difficult it can often be traced back to the dynamics in the way the people relate to each other. I joined a team recently where I experienced issues in group dynamics and become one of the contributors myself.

By EK Wills A friend lost her kindred sister to the horror of violence this week. The attacker was someone she had previously trusted and shockingly this is still not unusual in society generally. In the week of International Women’s Day it is important to reflect on the situation for women because the struggle has not eased. In India in 2012 there was an horrific attack on a woman on a bus where she was beaten, raped repeatedly by a gang in Delhi, and left for dead. There wa

By EK Wills Rarely do I plan anything for me but I like to put on events and usually do it for my kids. I do big birthday parties with elaborate themes and cakes as well as activities and it is all home-made. Interestingly, this is the picture for many women who feel they need to support the family and make everyone’s lives cohesive and harmonious. my daughter's cake for my birthday 2018 with Nana I’m planning a big birthday at the moment but this time for me. I decided if I

By EK Wills out with pram and muslin wrap Has anyone ever come up to you in the street or the supermarket and told you what you should be doing with your baby? This seems to be a regular occurrence. Many new mums report that unsolicited advice is offered by strangers telling them all sorts of ways to be a better carer. I remember struggling with the shopping and standing in a queue with the pram and being told by a random shopper that I would suffocate my child because I had

By EK Wills Everyone has bad days but what happens when you have one of those ones that make you question what you’re doing in life? Over time, I have learned that I need to blow off steam. I am very lucky that I have a couple of people that will tolerate listening to my rant so that the pressure can re-stabilise and life can go on. But not before enough hot air has been expelled. This blog reflects one of those rants and hopefully some perspective on how to deal with it. pra

By EK Wills on the way to ED on call There are many systemic issues in our current public health system but from my perspective within that structure, the heart of it is seems to be related to an ‘old boys club’ that perpetuates the notion of ‘if we did it, then you have to do it too’. Recently, the media has been reporting incidents relating to workplace issues for doctors and more specifically for surgeons. This came to light again with the latest junior doctor revelation a

By EK Wills the one year all three were at the same school As this year takes off, there are changes in kids’ lives, and our own, that require us to re-adjust. It could be a child starting school, moving into high school, or even senior years of high school. All these phases present new challenges for the whole family, not just the child moving on to the next stage of development. And when there are siblings, there are different stages which present cohesion challenges for ev

By EK Wills I am sitting in a vineyard bach (villa) in New Zealand after having gone out for dinner and can look forward to a swim in the pool after breakfast. But it is tainted. The day before, the family sat on the beach talking about meal plans: not because we were budgeting (although we do that too) but because my teen was stressed about her weight. Her distress centres around confidence or lack thereof. She tells me that if her weight were better then she would feel more

By E K Wills The night before Christmas... We recently moved from a house we were bursting out of and into one with a spacious open plan. It felt like all our Christmases came at once! I remember when we took the leap, it had everything I had hoped for (except off street parking and a second shower but who’s keeping tabs?). Enough space for all three children; a rumpus downstairs, even a media room, and a family room, which now makes three areas that require sofas! It felt li

By EK Wills What better way to spend time with friends and family than to get together for an activity? It could be to socialize over drinks, bake with the kids or make Christmas decorations. This time of year is the opportunity to reconnect with community and we’ve been squeezing as much of it in as we can. Christmas Cookies Baking is a great way to get kids off screens and teach them kitchen skills. Plus you get to spend time together with the objective of creating somethin

By EK Wills canoes in Sydney harbour Last weekend we attended our son’s scout Christmas party at the beach. Unusual you might say, but this was the sea scouts and it is water based. We recently moved close to the water but hadn’t had the opportunity to engage in water activities till that day: life has a way of distracting you with work, setting up house and preparing for Christmas. This was the first chance we had to force ourselves to stop and enjoy what we had moved there

By EK Wills There was a death in the family this week: my 10 year old son’s hermit crab. It lasted only a few months so, to us, this is not a big deal. But, to him, it was his first ‘very own’ pet to look after. It was not our first pet death (remember our chickens from last summer?) but it was his big event. He wondered whether he had done something wrong. Had he not fed it enough? Or kept the tank wet or warm enough? There were two of them and only one died. Why was it the

by EK Wills I recently had a patient lament that the system makes it so difficult to access services to mental health. That comment rings true for many people because there are so many options and so it can be difficult to navigate them. There is also a misconception that there is one place that fits all because it is ‘mental health’ and that is one ailment. In fact there are many types of mental health issues such as depression, domestic violence, trauma, psychosis: the list