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By E K Wills There is no manual that comes with the decision to have a family. Each step is taken and based on advice from friends, family or self-help books. This can be overwhelming and actually feel too overwhelming to tackle. As a psychiatrist I hear many stories of childhood events that can impact a person’s mental health. As a parent of three and mental health professional, I have aimed to not preach because the guiding principle is ‘good enough’ parenting, not perfecti

By EK Wills There has been much discussion about ADHD in the media and it appears like an epidemic of ADHD is upon us. Just this week, Australia has released its first clinical practice guidelines and as a psychiatrist and parent, it is an area of study that I am interested in. For those who haven’t focussed on this (pun intended), ADHD stands for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and is a neuro-developmental condition. The symptoms of this condition are listed in the

By E K Wills Unusual times call for a new approach to schooling. During the lockdown, we are not officially obliged to keep our kids at home if we are essential workers, but many are deciding to keep kids out of school where they can. (Please, teachers, be kind to those parents who do not have an option to do so if kids are too young to stay home alone: just as others need to consider you are also at the forefront of this crisis.) If your children are old enough to stay h

By EK Wills There is a lot of talk around the topic of stress and being overwhelmed. But when we start labeling the result with terms like burnout we are saying that the limit is reached. Then there are those that try to attribute the feeling to the fault of the person by saying that they are not resilient enough or not creating a work life balance that leads to the breaking point. In a time where productivity is heralded as the most important result, the idea of taking time

By EK Wills 4 Dads In perfect timing for Father’s Day, an article in the SMH inspired me to expand on the theory that father’s have their own language. If you haven’t heard already, Men Are From Mars and Women Are From Venus. What this refers to is John Gray’s premise that the fundamental issues in relationships stem from psychological differences between the sexes. Even decades after this book was first a best seller, it is still valid. If you take this a step further, it st

By EK Wills Most people think you need to be creative to put together a themed birthday party. There is a lot of stress around putting on an expensive, exciting party and yet often kids are happy to go to the park with their friends. A party can be as simple as grabbing some balls, heading to the park and collecting some round accessories such as plates. Here are some tips for your child’s ball party. 1. Ready made ball pit This can be a great option, especially if the weathe

By EK Wills Its birthday season again, so you can create the best science party ever, in your own backyard filled with erupting volcanoes and more experiments than you can pack into a party period. The Laboratory Set the scene with lab coats (we used disposable protective gowns, disposable protective eye wear and gloves. It’s usually one size fits all but that’s half the fun!). Safety posters and the periodic table can help set the scene. Set up your lab bench for the experim

By EK Wills When my niece asked for tips on how to get her child to sleep, I couldn’t believe I hadn’t already done a blog post on this! So thanks for the heads up and here goes… Sleep with respect to children is always an issue. As long as medical issues are ruled out, then practical points are required to get good sleep. Babies First it starts when they are born and then it steadily progresses through different stages. No sooner do you master the one you’re in then it becom

by EK Wills This holiday period has been a mixture of good times and learning experiences. Our friends visited from overseas after not having seen them for many years and all of our kids got along famously plus Sydney did not disappoint with scorching temperatures set to sizzle a tourist and Aussie alike. But both of these occurrences provided opportunity to learn about the often taboo topic of mortality. Firstly, our visitors openly discussed the recent treatment for breast

By EK Wills This week we had our first family meeting in a long time. When the idea was floated, our middle child piped up and claimed that “it didn’t work before”, to which I suggested that it was worth trying again since failure does not mean defeat. I got a look and a shrug. So this time we started with a look at Clean Communication. It is usually used for couples to teach them how to talk to each other without blaming, accusing and to be able to figure out what each perso

By EK Wills Many families are feeling the pinch at this time of year. Christmas has eaten a hole in the budget and the family holiday only made it bigger. Or there have been so many April birthdays and gifts bought for them that you are left wondering what to do when Mother’s Day rolls around. In our family, I have just celebrated my birthday (in April) and then Mother’s Day follows hot on it’s heels weeks later and I really don't need more gifts. The other aspect to consider

By EK Wills I don't practice a particular religion but I have a strong sense of family, which I tend to feed especially in holiday periods: Easter is no exception. As our nuclear family grows, we’ve developed a few ways to join with our various extended families, including other communities such as friends, schools and colleagues. Below is a list of child friendly activities we enjoy at Easter time. Perhaps you have done one or some of these or can add them to your activities

By EK Wills There is so much pressure on kids to get good results in the final high school grades that it’s little wonder teachers and parents are finding themselves at odds with each other. Parents know the minefield it is after high school to try to secure a place in tertiary education institutions and teachers are reported to be in the firing line when parents defend their offspring. It has reached such proportions that articles are being written about lawsuits between par

By EK Wills Call me controversial but I feel that the current climate of fundraising is set up to generate competition at our expense. Raising money for a cause is done with the best of intentions by all different members of our community for all sorts of reasons. This week I had the opportunity to be involved with two such events, one for a tragedy and one for hope. logo for funding site Social media is the perfect medium to facilitate fundraising because it can spread quick

By EK Wills Rarely do I plan anything for me but I like to put on events and usually do it for my kids. I do big birthday parties with elaborate themes and cakes as well as activities and it is all home-made. Interestingly, this is the picture for many women who feel they need to support the family and make everyone’s lives cohesive and harmonious. my daughter's cake for my birthday 2018 with Nana I’m planning a big birthday at the moment but this time for me. I decided if I

By EK Wills out with pram and muslin wrap Has anyone ever come up to you in the street or the supermarket and told you what you should be doing with your baby? This seems to be a regular occurrence. Many new mums report that unsolicited advice is offered by strangers telling them all sorts of ways to be a better carer. I remember struggling with the shopping and standing in a queue with the pram and being told by a random shopper that I would suffocate my child because I had

By EK Wills Everyone has bad days but what happens when you have one of those ones that make you question what you’re doing in life? Over time, I have learned that I need to blow off steam. I am very lucky that I have a couple of people that will tolerate listening to my rant so that the pressure can re-stabilise and life can go on. But not before enough hot air has been expelled. This blog reflects one of those rants and hopefully some perspective on how to deal with it. pra

By EK Wills the one year all three were at the same school As this year takes off, there are changes in kids’ lives, and our own, that require us to re-adjust. It could be a child starting school, moving into high school, or even senior years of high school. All these phases present new challenges for the whole family, not just the child moving on to the next stage of development. And when there are siblings, there are different stages which present cohesion challenges for ev

By EK Wills Travelling with children who are now opinionated and have their own tastes requires a different type of planning than for little ones that need entertaining. Our trip to New Zealand (NZ) provided the opportunity to get our teen and pre teen and primary aged boy together in a confined space for 10 days to visit the North Island of New Zealand in preparation of my sister’s wedding to a Kiwi. How to carry money We looked at options such as travel card, traveller’s ch

By EK Wills I am sitting in a vineyard bach (villa) in New Zealand after having gone out for dinner and can look forward to a swim in the pool after breakfast. But it is tainted. The day before, the family sat on the beach talking about meal plans: not because we were budgeting (although we do that too) but because my teen was stressed about her weight. Her distress centres around confidence or lack thereof. She tells me that if her weight were better then she would feel more